Move Your Relationship From Insignificance to Intimacy

Relationships Are Built On Your Intimacy

Some Love Advice – Man to Man

A majority of the women I speak to who are unhappy in their relationships tell me that they just don’t feel that their relationship is that important to their man.  Or they feel their men just don’t understand them.

Understanding your girlfriend is not impossible. And you don’t need constant love advice if you have an approach. There is a way to reach intimacy even if your relationship is beginning to feel insignificant. And it begins with an approach to the simple things.

1.  Make Her Your Purpose

I would say the key to a good relationship, as a man, is to adore your woman. And I mean adore like a religion. Like a life’s philosophy. Like a purpose.

2. Be Attentive – Don’t Just Pay Attention

My girlfriend told me that most men are oblivious to the wants and needs of their women.  She said a small number of men will pay regular attention to their women, and even fewer will be attentive.

What is this “attentive” thing?  Basically, it is anticipating her needs and wants, and seeking to understand her rather than judge her.  It is also being sweet, chivalrous, supportive and in tune.  More importantly, attentiveness is keeping her at the forefront of your thoughts and actions. 

Go here for a list of examples.

3.  Only Keep the Routines You Love

At the beginning of my current relationship, I remember telling my girlfriend I would go out of my way to make sure nothing would become a boring routine.

Routine is inevitable.  But I always make the routine things we do have deep significance for me, and become very special for her.  It is how you look at the routine that will change your perspective.  Routines can become ritual.

So only keep the routines you love.  And try to anticipate which routines you want to keep fresh so that you can reenergize them with your attentiveness.

4. Stay Creative – Or At Least Use Pinterest

I am a generally creative guy, but not all guys are.  I would say, however, that staying creative is an important part of making her feel like you are being attentive.

When my girlfriend is coming over for a drink, I often will try to design a thematic setting in the living room. And when she is gone and I miss her, I work on ideas that will make her happy.  In fact, this blog is one of those things I decided to do when she was out of town for a week.

And if you are not creative, use Pinterest.  Pinterest is amazing because of the sheer number of ideas that are out there.  As an added bonus, your girlfriend probably loves Pinterest too, so this gives you something to talk about with her.

5. Stop trying to Predict Her Feelings

A friend of mine confessed to me the other day that his relationship would be so much easier if he could predict his girlfriend’s feelings. Men want constancy and planned outcomes. But that is not the approach that has had the most success.  

How many times do religious people say, “I don’t understand your plan, Lord, but I trust in you?” They seek to know their god better. The same goes for women. If you adore her and try to anticipate her needs, your conflicts of personality will diminish. Learn to appreciate her changes and transformations, and you will grow with her, as opposed to her growing away from you.  And in most cases, she will become more vulnerable with you and begin looking into your needs as well.

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