A couple of readers asked me: “What is the difference between intimacy and seduction?”
This question stems from a tweet I sent a couple of days ago, and I must say, I don’t think people are ignorant of the difference. However, our culture has propelled us to put all words related to each other under the same definition. So intimacy and seduction get blurred as words related to sex.
When we read headlines, the most provocative talk is about “seducing” our partners (for example); and intimacy is more of a soft skill relegated to saving a marriage (for example) or keeping ourselves in tune with another.
How are Intimacy and Seduction Different?
The truth is, intimacy and seduction are at serious odds.
Quite simply put, intimacy comes from two people, and seduction is from one to another.
It’s possible we can call intimacy a type of seduction that serves the lover. Without passing judgment, I can say that women value intimacy more than the raw porno fucking that has been fed into the male mind as a sexual standard from a young age, and men miss the mark on this all too often. Interestingly, I am not sure men are able to seduce well or be intimate on the whole. But when given options, men tend to look to the tricks of seduction rather than the bond of intimacy.
How to Make Intimacy
Intimacy is difficult because of the attention it commands. To be intimate, the man, who’s brain is fixated on the visual, must turn toward the contemplative view of the nuances of his woman, including body parts that are typically under-highlighted (for example). It’s not that the act of studying one’s woman is difficult. The difficult part is overcoming the cultural values of male sexuality, which posit hard pumping and cum shots as the norm, lasting 2 hours as preferrable by women, and oral sex as a slathering lapping of the pubic area.
The Benefits of Seeking Intimacy
Long story short, however, I think it is important for you, the young man, to begin to investigate, to explore the concept of intimacy. It is the true key to good sex, to being considered the best lover, to feeling real accomplishment in sex, and to fortify the bond you may have already created in companionship.
If you don’t believe me, ask your girlfriend.